That one sore tooth!

I am VERY impressed with what is happening in my mouth. I can see the difference. I am able to see how the teeth are straitening. I can feel it too! It is difficult to talk, as my teeth are never where they have been, so my tongue forever has to guess its way around my mouth. The same when I am eating…

Small pebble in the shoe though: I have this one sore tooth. Seemingly, this tooth is out of sync with the rest. I keep biting on it. It is sore and every bite adds to this pain. I am not even trying to eat on this side of my mouth anymore.

Fortunately, the appointment with the orthodontist looms. I bite on my teeth (ouch! that odd one felt it again) and anticipate this meeting, where I may complain about a sore tooth.

Thursday morning. I walk into the consulting rooms boldly to explain the situation. The mechanic just smiles and tells me that it is NO problem, takes his pliers, grab my jaw and gives my tooth (OK, the hook on the tooth) a twist that almost send me into the arms of the tooth mouse. He grins satisfied and declares the problem solved. I bite on my teeth and… it is solved!

So to all the women out there who want your man to listen and not to solve your problems – I suggest that you lie back, give him the pliers and trust him to solve it all in one skillful, albeit painful twist.

To my single friends…. Discover the man inside you and trust him with all your being (this should not be so difficult – it is after all you). Be bold, give that problem a skillful, albeit painful twist and… voila! A pain free existence…(until the tooth moves again).

Mother's day

Sunday was Mother's day.

As usual, Mother made sure she spoils the day for herself. As I have learned over the last couple of years, I allowed her to.

I went home; I wished her a happy Mother's day.

The rest of the weekend was spent like any other weekend when I am visiting home.

Visiting home has changed over the years. There was times when I went home every weekend, then there were times, when I visited once a month, then there were times, when I visited none. Then there were times when I went home, but did not visit.

I love my parents. My parents are wonderful people - my friends easily dump me for my parents... My ex-boyfriends stay friends with my parents, so no, they are not terrible old people that are best to be avoided. I am really fortunate to have them in my life.

Somehow, I did not and do not get what I need from my parents. My parents love me and they love me, the best they know how to. Somehow it is not providing in my needs. Communication, jealousy, expectations, love languages, unthankfulness all contributing to a break in the relationship. And then one day it all collapsed...

This time round, I refused to fix it. No "I am sorry", no trying to talk it through. I just went home and did not visit, and also did not go home. Gradually, I learned what was wrong and how much it hurt me. Gradually, I accepted that they did the best they know. Eventually, I let go. I let go of the pain. I let go of the expectations.

I started to visit again; I got a few pleasant surprises - like an unexpected apology! Visits became nice again. My needs are not yet met, but I enjoy the relationship for what it is and take note and savour the unexpected surprises.

The relationship is different now. I am a different person and therefore the dynamics of the relationship is different. I am not trying to have the parents I want, I appreciate what I have. It still hurts to not have what I so badly want, but I am blessed by what I have.

I had to decide to end the suffering (not having my needs met) and to be a blessing to myself (letting go of expectations and pain, love myself, love my parents, and letting the relationship be).

Now I enjoy my parents again. I love going home and look forward to visiting them, ever so often.

Lief vir julle!

A month later.

It is a month, since I got braces. A month in which my teeth was hurting, the hurting became a nagging pain. The nagging pain became tiredness... Then there was the adaptation to the new settings, after the monthly check-up at Dr. Esra. And here I sit tonight and I AM VERY IMPRESSED! The two front teeth (the ones which made me the most self-conscious), are almost straight! If they were like this, I would not have had to go through this process.

In this month, I had to learn to brush my teeth, floss, eat, drink, and close my mouth and smile "mindfully". In this month, I knew whereto I was working and what I was planning for myself. I was willing to go through all this adaptation and pain to reach my goal, of straight teeth... I had some shocks, when there suddenly appear gaps between teeth - I did not want to trade skew teeth for Madonna teeth ;-)

In this month I got some for which, I prepared myself and some for which I was not prepared.

***

In this month, I also had a life outside of my mouth.

I became extremely tired for no apparent reason at all. I was happy and hardworking, I was sad and hurt and unable to work. I had to learn to work beyond my tiredness to reach my work goals. I had to learn to live beyond the pain of an old love to reach my goal of finding answers. I found the unexpected answer, whilst I had no energy to deal with it.

I got some for which I was prepared and some for which I was not prepared. I did not know what I shall find and whether I shall like what I find. What I found were answers, I did not like, but which did bring an end to suffering. What I found was a self-affirming knowledge that I shall be at the right place at the right time. What I found was a self-affirming knowledge that I have excellent instincts, which I need tot learn to trust. What I found was a self-affirming awareness of my strength and wholeness.

And here I sit tonight and I AM VERY IMPRESSED! I am smiling and totally in love with myself. I have come very far and I am flowing strong…